I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
