i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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