she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
