the new term for farting is butt boxing.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
