On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
