come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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