i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
