did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
