i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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