i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
