i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
