can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Randomize
