captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Even my vagina gasped.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
