where does the pee come out of this thing
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Randomize
