I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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