I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
