we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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