She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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