Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
