I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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