hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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