Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
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