So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
