I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
