He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Im part way to drunk.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
