9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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