Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
