worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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