I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
