The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
