I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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