You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
