He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
