I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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