I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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