She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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