whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Randomize
