Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
