The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
