we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
