I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
