i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
