He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
