I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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