a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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