Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Randomize
