It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
