We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
