I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
