I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
