just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
