I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
