Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
